Today’s the day! I head back to work. I’ve had all kinds of emotions about going back to work for weeks prior to this day. I have felt excited to see everyone again. Eager to get started and exercise a different part of my brain. Eager to stop wearing Birkenstocks everyday and start wearing heels, cus I can! Eager to dress up. But sad because I know I’ll miss Mikayla and insecure because I’m not sure if I’m still good at what I used to do.
When I first got the job as the (only) Web Master and Digital Content Producer, before I was pregnant, I thought “omg. Can I actually do this? Or did I just fool my bosses into hiring an imposter?” Imposter syndrome. It’s a real thing! But I knew I was good enough for the position I just had to have more confidence in myself. I knew I could do it and I knew if there was anything I didn’t know, I’d figure it out. I didn’t have to know EVERYTHING. But I did have to know how to find the answer 😉 And I was good at that.
Women need to shift from thinking ‘I’m not ready to do that’ to thinking ‘I want to do that – and I’ll learn by doing it. – Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook
It’ll be interesting to see how I am at work. I feel like I haven’t changed, but I know I have. I’m a Mom now. Will I still be the fun, outgoing, eager, work late kinda person I used to be? Maybe. But I know that I have some different priorities. I’ve got someone at home who really depends on me, and needs me. Not just my partner, but a daughter.
I know I’ll still set goals for myself. Maybe these goals will be larger and I’ll be more ambitious. One thing that I learned while being on Mat leave is that TIME FLIES. Life is short. It’s too short to waste time on anything that doesn’t benefit yourself and what you call your community. I can’t waste energy on something that makes me unhappy, stressed and upset. I can’t just put my head down and be quiet. I want to reach my goals. I don’t want to look back and think, I shoulda, coulda, woulda.
What would you do if you weren’t afraid – Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook
Photos by Neia Balao
Amanda’s Outfit: Hat: Roots | Jacket: Mavi | Shirt: Noisy May at Hudson’s Bay | Shorts: Aritzia | Sandals: Urban Behaviour | Bag: Zara